Life, Adventure, Learning, Surviving, Creating our own place in the world.
The partner of a Defence / Military member has many titles – spouse, partner, mil spouse and my favourite Dependant! My husband has been a Solider since before I came along and I have been on this journey with him since 1998…..21 years or half my life and the one thing that I am not, is dependant! Dependant is defined in the dictionary as relying on or needing another. (Yourdictionary.com)
I am like every other Defence / Military dependant – very much independent!
Prior to meeting my husband, I had very little to do with the military. I come from a small country town with a proud military history, but it was relatively small. I listened to the stories told whilst I worked in the pub, heard stories about great-great-uncles and applauded at the Anzac Day march.
Upon meeting, my world was immediately changed. Anzac Day was just around the corner and this would be our first offical outing together. Over the course of 21 years, we have been to many offical functions, dining in’s, dining outs, parades, balls, promotions, retirements, unit celebrations and less formal functions.
Over these many years, many moves, many new faces, many everything news, I have meet many wonderful, strong, talented “dependants” who are also anything but dependant. These partners know the raw truth of being a military family, the pain of separation, the joy of home comings, the upheaving of life every two years, being away from family, being able to fix broken white goods, draws and chairs, the ones mowing the lawn, weeding the gardens, the school and sport drop offs, the parent/teacher interviews, the doctor and hospital visits all while being dependant on themselves (with help from their battle buddies).
Defence / Military spouses are fierce with a high percentage employed, highly educated, and those that run the house like a well honed machine. Spouses are many different personalities but they all have one thing in common…..the ability to adapt. The Cambridge Dictionary defines adapt as the ability to adjust to different conditions or uses, or to change to meet different situations (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/adapt)
To say that one is not dependant is not a statement to say that one does not need the other, it is in simple terms that whilst we are apart for work needs, I can handle taking care of myself, our family and all that entails. As a family unit, we are better together but when duty calls, my husband knows that we are going to be ok.
Defence / Military life is a partnership, a team, one that often leads to no expectation on the serving member, is difficult at times, painful at times, pure elation at times and is built on trust and the need for spouses to be independent……it’s time for the phrase ‘Dependant’ to be replaced.
42 year old Heart Attack survivor with something to say
Discussing Paths Towards Happiness
We are all told, “live your life to the fullest”; I am here to do just that. Life With The Webbers lets you in on all the struggles and joys of life being a Defence Family, the ups and downs of being a Spouse to a Soldier and the joys and hardships of being a Mother that often has to do everything while Dad is away working. So, sit back, relax, and read on.
independent of defence | provides advice to government
Ramblings on military life, parenting life, dog mom life...and other stuff
Just a couple of ladies making their way to the golf course one pink ball at a time
Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever
RV Travel and musings from a part-time RVing family.
By Lisa Smith Molinari
Stealing Those Precious Moments In Life!
Hike Every Hike Like It Is Your Last
Into the woods I go, to lose my mind and find my soul.
Travel with and without teens
A diary of a chronic overthinker
Winging It Since 2010
Living the life elevated in Utah and experiencing the West
WOW!!! You hit the nail on the head again Mrs Mully. Love love love these blogs, sometimes on a bad day you make everything good again just by reading. Please keep them coming.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you my friend. It’s quiet daunting putting it out there ♥️
LikeLike
Can relate to every word. Love this.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much.
LikeLike
Thanks do much for sharing your life experiences in such a positive way Sheree.Please keep them coming.X
LikeLiked by 1 person
So true! Being a military spouse is anything but dependent. We are alone more often than fixing issues and living life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes to this!!! Independent and empowered!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. We are independent and empowered, the journey may not always be easy or one that is easy to understand but we are capable and willing.
LikeLiked by 1 person